Girl Hack …

Here is an old “document” I stumbled across some time ago, and now I decided to post it :))
Author – Seth McGann
Date – 5/25/98


In this report I will attempt to quantify the personality traits of the troubled teen with
the intent of creating a psychological profile (or signature). The techniques used to
arrive at these conclusions are the same used by the FBI to profile unknown serial killers
to facilitate their capture. All the conclusions are based on real-life interviews, long
exposure to several people possessing the target personality, as well as some behavioral
psychology. This report is divided into a theory and a practice section as well as a small
section on exploitation. At the end of this report you should have all the information you
need to identify the personality type defined in this report and with practice should be
able to exploit the female for your enjoyment.


The personality we are defining is that of a troubled teen. Specifically, we seek female
teens from 12 to 18 years of age (possibly older) with severe unipolar depression. The
reason for this will become evident later. We also seek a highly extroverted personality
with little or no inhibitions. A side effect of this will be mild to severe hyperactivity,
which we must also look for. So, we desire a depressed, extroverted, hyperactive female.
Luckily, these traits go hand in hand. Additionally, the behavior associated with them is
easy to identify, even from a distance. In the next section, a behavioral profile will be
provided that can be used a template for this personality.


We begin our profile with an examination of the subject. This can be broken into several
pieces. As with any profile, not everything will be the same for every subject. The more
parts that fit, the better the chance of a match.

Examine the subjects head. Is her hair dyed? Does it show evidence of being dyed
multiple times? The more times the better. Next look at her ears. Multiple self-inflicted
piercings with strange studs should be evident. Also look for make-up. We want a purple
color scheme, though this may, or may not be evident. Also look for scarring, (white or red
lines). The more scarring the better.

Look closely at the subjects wrists and forearms. Search for evidence of scarring in these
locations. Heavy scarring on the wrists is an indication of attempted suicide (a plus for
us). Also look for names that have been carved into her skin. She may chose to hide her
names by carving them in hard to see places, so don’t be discouraged just yet. Another good
sign is burn marks. Be careful though, severe physical or sexual abuse will produce the
wrong type of personality, we want all the damage to be self-inflicted.

The overall female should be very thin most of the time, although obesity is a possibility
too. She will have used starvation as a means to attempt suicide in the past. We seek a
physically attractive female, so feel free to discard females that are disturbing to look

Now that we have screened for a female with the above physical characteristics we have to
take a look at her mind. Even here, observation is key. It will be easier to inventory her
mind if you try to start a conversation. The proper type will undoubtedly start the
conversation for you, and begin telling her life story, given a little prodding. Watch her
body language as she talks. She will subconsciously emphasize certain points, which we want
to know about. Here is what we are looking for:

The female will try to always be at the center of attention. Given the proper setting (a
house party, for instance) she will not hesitate to run around completely naked. This is a
very good sign as it requires a VERY uninhibited personality (even with large amounts of
alcohol). She will begin to talk to whoever is near her, and will continually steer the
conversation back to her. She will complain about her life, how bad her day was, and given
enough time she will drop important details. This release of information will happen
whether the subject is inebriated or not, the hallmark of this personality. Areas to
question the subject on are as follows:

The subject should use drugs heavily, if not now, in the past. She may have convictions and
be on probation for use and sale of marijuana. Generally, she will not use harder drugs
than pot, if anything else it will usually be “shrooms” or LSD. She will also use alcohol
heavily, generally in a social setting. All this drug use will generally take place with
her friends in a closed setting. Don’t expect to see this at bar or other open gathering.

Here is the most important section. If you’ve gotten this far everything here should fit
perfectly. She will have been treated for “depression” in the past, most likely with an
in-patient stay at a mental facility. The reason for her stay will be attempted suicide or
suicidal ideations (thinking about ending it). The methods she will use will not be
effective (like a shotgun blast to the head) but will be designed to attract attention.
Horizontal wrist slashing will bleed a lot, but is generally not fatal and can be repaired.
Overdosing on over the counter drugs, and consuming household cleaning products are also
popular. While these methods can work, the subject will call her friend and tell the friend
that she just tried to commit suicide. This leads to the hospital, a suicide watch, and
in-patient commitment. The subject will also be seeing a therapist. The reason for this is
that the medication she is taking requires monitoring by a psychiatrist. Popular brand
names are Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, but they all are anti-depressants. Specifically they are
selective seritonin reuptake inhibitors, in other words they work by increasing the pool of
seritonin in the brain, thus reducing depression. She will most likely not be taking the
old school anti-depressants. These so called MAO inhibitors have so many side effects that
is usually prescribed when nothing else will work. She will also need something for that
hyperactivity, Ritalin being the drug of choice. To summarize: she is currently on
anti-depressants and is seeing a therapist due to depression and attempted suicide. If you
can come to this conclusion from your conversation, then you are in good shape.

The subject will have had a relatively sheltered childhood with in a small town. This can
vary actually, she may in fact live in a city and may have one or both parents, who can have
a varying amount of financial security. Obviously, you want to find a female with rich
parents. Something goes horribly wrong. The female will be rejected by her mother, who
will continually disapprove of everything she does. This will lead to continuos feelings of
rejection and anxiety. In an attempt to get attention she will latch on to anyone who
approves of her and soothes the pain in her mind. This is where the promiscuous sex comes
in. She uses sex as a tool to ease her mental pain, but this will not work. No matter how
much sex she has, how many boyfriends she gets, no matter how much she drinks, or smokes,
the underlying pain always comes back. She will do a good job covering it up, but she
overcompensates, leading to exaggerated reactions. If you spend enough time with the female
you will see that she does not deal well with change. Her personality will “break” for
awhile, during which you will be treated to fits of screaming and crying. During these
episodes the female will be feeling completely alone. If the episode last long enough she
will try to commit suicide. To her, physical pain is nothing compared to the mental torture
she has to endure. This also explains the need to carve her body, and do her own piercings.
The control she exerts on her body, and the pain she inflicts, gives her an escape. To
find out how closely the female fits in here requires good conversation skills. Watch her
body language and try to see what you can pick up. Chances are, all this will hit dead on.

She will have many friends and acquaintances. Her best friend will usually be fairly
normal, so it would be good for you to question her alone. Not to much in this area, take
mental notes about who she likes and dislikes, it will be useful in the future if you try to
start any sort of “relationship”.

The subject will almost always be bi-sexual. Depending on how much she likes you, she will
be willing to have a sex with you and two or more girls. In fact, your best bet for group
sex is with this personality type. The other partners will usually be her friends, or
someone she feels comfortable with. Due to the sensitive nature of this topic, you should
find a way to figure it out without direct questioning or until you’ve known the subject for

After you’ve done a satisfactory interview you will know whether you have found the right
person or not. If you are sure you have a proper personality fix you can move on to the
next section. Otherwise, try somebody else, in the next section we talk about ways to
increase your success.


To actually exploit this type of personality you must first find some candidate girls. Here
are some excellent locations:

Boarding Schools for Girls: Basically these are psychiatric facilities for rich girls. Try
and find a party near the school, chances are some of the most lucrative finds will show up.
If possible, through your own party (this is kind of extreme though).

Rural High Schools: Everyone knows people out in a rural setting have nothing to do. Use
this to your advantage by infiltrating the party scene. You will undoubtedly find several

Colleges: Less likely, due to the fact that someone as mentally disturbed as we want would
most likely not make it to college (though there are exceptions). Worth a try any ways.
Get into the party scene, go to bars around the college, frat parties are great, IF you can
get in.

Clubs and Bars: Everyone who goes to these are underage. Use this to your advantage.
Profiling is harder in this setting, but if your good you should have no problem.

What you do once you have found your target? Well, I’m sure you can figure it out.
Capitalize on the person for sex, money and drugs. The more involved you get with the one
girl, chances are you can get her friends too. One thing to keep in mind though, you will
either get a positive or negative reaction. Discard the person if she responds negatively.
If you really want a particular girl, you can try, but with this personality, there is an
immediate reaction. If the reaction is positive, your in with about 5 minutes effort.
Otherwise, it will take much, much longer. Don’t bother, find another one.


If you have completed this report you have all the necessary information to identify this
personality. Now all you need is practice, and lots of it. A disregard for ethics is also
helpful. In no time you should be getting more sex than you know what to do with.


About icebreaker

Senior Software Engineer, Open Source Evangelist.

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